Well, I aint really an outsider in emulation, as I have been around since probably the begining, (was probably too drunk to remember), but when you walk into one of these channels, most of the time, you are made to be felt like you dont belong, like you are an outsider to emulation, like you are not appreciated. I mean if I wanted to be not appreciated, I would have walked through the streets of New York City at 2AM singing Russian drinking songs looking to be dragged out into the street and shot. Sometimes, that's what I felt they were doing.

Take the #Classicemu on Liquidnet. This is the IRC channel and network available through the JAVA Chat Application on Emucamp (of which if you dont have Netscape to use, you are seriously just plain outright f*** your g/f up the a** screwed.) You go in there, and the first thing you find is anal sex talk and cybersex. I mean come on! If this were an x-rated IRC channel, then they should have this listed under "Hardcore Sex" on Yahoo! I mean I can see it now. You type in "Hardcore Sex" under Yahoo! and you see as a link: "Liquidnet - Fill your deepest desire. Everything from erotic Classicemu to anal sex."

Another thing about Liquidnet. Even if you act nice, you say something wrong, you are considered an "outsider." I been kicked out of #Classicemu on Liquidnet more times then my fiance and I have had sex in a day (which is a lot and NO I WILL NOT COMMENT ON THAT!) I mean come on! This channel is for Emulation! Granted once in a blue moon (of which they were trying to prove to me but couldnt even come close) that they do have interest in emulation, but that's only 1% of the time. 99% of the time they are just acting plain stupid. I mean there is nothing wrong with acting plain stupid, but the type they were acting has gotten me annoyed.

EFNet? Well, it's a little better. I mean they are a little more easy going, they talk about emu, and they act like real people instead of the fantasy world that the people of Liquidnet think they are in. But watch out. People have short fuses there. I hear a lot of the ops there are assholes and it definitely shows. This person was saying a lot of crap about me. (I know he was from Liquidnet) and I figure hey! I am drunk as hell (bought myself a 6 pack) I should defend myself. I didnt curse or anything, I made a statement! I said "Look! If you dont want me in the emu scene, then say so! Because obviously you dont appreciate me working for Emucamp bringing you the news, and comedic editorials." I get banned from #Classicemu, #Emu and #Retrogaming! I mean come on! They make it so easy to ban someone due to stating their opinion. I didnt even know what person did it. All I know is that it was through the Wilbur bot. Fitting that a person that probably smells like Julia Roberts skanky private part would be a coward and hide behind a mask. On another note, they are prejudice as I have been informed by an anonymous source, that #Retrogamers ban anyone with a br extension on their address. (If you arent familiar with Internet terminology, br stands for Brazil. In other words, Brazilians are banned from #retrogamers.)

Well, fear not everyone. I have come up with the emulation outsiders survivor guide. And here it is:

To start:

(A) Make sure you have a six pack and cigarettes. For some reason, IRC makes you want to drink and smoke like hell just to put up with the people there.

(B) Choose an IRC Program like mIRC. Dont go with the JAVA Applet available on most emu sites (including here.) It's really crappy. This is for the extreme beginners that dont know what they are doing, and dont know what to expect.

(C) Choose the least incriminating Alias.

(D) Sit down, shut up, and only answer if you are asked a question. Ops like the quiet people.

(E) Dont start any arguments

(F) If you have to start an argument, listen to the op or the person there. TAKE IT INTO PRIVATE.

(G) If you wish to get involved in a conversation, say hi.

(H) Specific to Liquidnet. Be prepared for sex talk. If this grosses you out, then dont go.

(I) DONT BEG FOR ROMS.

Follow these steps, and no one will bother you. As for me, I am a hypocrite because I havent followed these steps. And overall, odds are I will probably be banned for life after this editorial, but hey. My duty is to get the word out to the emu community and if I have to be banned from all the IRC Emu Channels out there, so be it. I will use this philosophy. "Treat everything like comedy and laugh."

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